5 signs your in a good relationship

5 signs your in a good relationship 

1.  conflict doesn't feel detrimental.  

2. Every couple has big arguments, In fact every successful couple NEEDS to have big arguments. These arguments give up a really clear picture on how the relationship functions. For example, If its only ever one person finding a resolutions, that a very clear indicator that only one person is putting in the work. 

• Having a successful argument looks like the following: 

• Seeing each other's perspectives 

• Finding a middle ground 

• Taking a break from the argument 

• Returning to baseline after the argument 

• Both parties learning something from the conflict 

2. Intimacy isn't the most important. 

   As humans, our libidos ebb and flow, Its not uncommon to go weeks for months without desires for intimacy. Being able to have clear communication about this and not feel pressured to perform is a crucial element to a successful relationship. Always best friends before anything else. 

Lack of intimacy is a very common breaking point for most couples, It can lead to cheating, guilt and shame. We forget to understand that Intimacy isn't NOT a necessity, It is a by-product of relaxation and commitment. As humans we inevitably go through hardship, During this time intimacy can be very low or even flatlined. This doesn't mean its a problem or gone forever. If your partner is pressuring you to have intimacy while you are going through a hard patch of life, Its very important that they understand how damaging that is for your stress levels. If they refuse to understand, Then grab a big trash bag and throw them away. This might be controversial, but I believe your partner finding satisfaction elsewhere could be a great way for both people to feel seen during the hardship. This doesn't need to be full on intimacy with another women, But maybe self pleasure or watching content. 

I understand this is a very broad concept for most monogamist relationships, But its important to remember that we are all individuals, and non of us are experiencing the same thing at the same time. If you cant understand why your partner isn't stressed alongside you, Then you don't yet recognise them as their own person. 

3. The giggles 

   A good relationship is filled with silly and ridiculous moments, Being able to let your guard down and be a bit weird. This ties into point two about being best friends before anything. Youll recognise these moments, Commonly they are late night zoomies for women, Or nerding out about something. Having space in the relationship to be a weirdo is so important to keep that childlike aura alive. - If your partner makes you feel weird about being WEIRD … its not a good sign. It means there insecure and they are only comfortable performing there ‘persona’ 

   
   

   A performative relationship looks like the following: 

   * Only doing things to post on social media or tell family and friends.

   * Having to have a certain appearance when out and about with your partner 

   * Being called ‘weird’ or ‘strange’ when getting a little nerdy 

   * Conversation never gets any deeper then planning the next date, Or talking about your partners hardship 

   * Arguments are always based on how others perceive the relationship, never internal / emotional issues 

4. You talk about the future 

   This doesn't necessarily mean making plans about how many children you want, or when you want to buy a house. All though those are great points, Im talking bout the more mundane things that connect your lives together, for example  Selling / buying a car, Meal planning, Education paths / career paths, Future projects. Its important for your partner to be invested in your everyday quest 

   
   

 Here are 5 questions to ask your partner for a deeper day-to-day connection 

1. Whats something your excited about in the near future?

2. Whats something thats been draining you recently?

3. What though is at the top of your mind recently?

4. Whats something that would recharge you this week? 

5. Whats an activity you wanna do this week for leisure? 

5. Your proud of your partner 

   You enjoy showing them off, Your proud to talk about them, they excite you, and most importantly you are proud of them. A good way to test if you are proud of them , is to answer this simple question.” If you child was dating a person exactly like your partner, would you be proud of them?” 

To finish the blog: 

Here are 5 things you can do with your partner to maintain a healthy relationship 

1. Hang out like friends … Just chill with some drinks and then play a game or something. No big chats or planning, Just two friends hanging out 

2. Admire them, let them know something your proud of. Make them feel seen 

3. Invest into something nerdy together, Like ww2 documentries or a videogame or painting ect 

4. Call eachothers families TOGETHER, Be apart of there family conversations. 

5. Active alone time. Distance does make the heart grow fonder.