Burnout, Therapy and DOG SH*T

PRODUCTIVITY ... its how I estimated my value.

to be a productive member of sociaty you must acheieve the following [ by 'Acheive' I mean 'Tolerate'] :

• Be an early bird

• Have a stable income

• Own a business or 'Side hustle'

• Workout / Fitness bunny

• Be a great parent ( im a mother to 3 Dogs )

• Be a kind and generous partner

• Be a social person

• Have nice things ... but be humble.

• Have goals and dreams

• Be mentally stable

AND THE LIST JUST GOES ON!

As a professional "over sharer" let me run you through a day in my life...

6:35am - Wake up [ Feel guilty for missing my 6:00am alarm ]

7:35am - Go to work [ Pick up Dog shit and do tricks for the boss ]

Lunch time - Feel guilty becuase I didnt do any work on my business

5:30pm - Arrive home

5:30pm - 10:00pm [ Run arround like a rocket's up my ass, trying to acheive a whole day worth of work. Cleaning , Business, Workout , Eat healthy]

10:30pm - 11:00pm [ Option 1 : Make my partner feel guilty for his lack of productivity orrrrr Option 2 : Vent to him about heavy issues for 2 hours]

12:00pm - onwards [ Scroll or Watch 'Calming' youtube videos ... usually murder documentries]

Then it was all over...

After a week long, exciting and 'Anxiety-driven' trip through the North island of New Zealand I returned home at 6:00pm on Sunday and went to work monday 7:30am... That was probably the dumbest shit ive ever done, And thats saying alot coming from someone who used to enjoy 'Running from the cops'.

Monday : I noticed I was Tired , Stressed and Dizzy.

Tuesday : Went to work, Then went to class. Driving home at 9:30pm my phone died and full panic surged through my body. I swerved my car and managed to park 2 minutes from my house. I sat there untiI got scared then continued to drive home with all the windows down.

Wednesday : Got up went to Work ... And lost it.

its now offically been 3 weeks.

I lost my job, I can no longer drive, I panic when I need to leave the house, Im currently re-learning my cognigtive abillities [Writing, Reading , Problem solving]... Its Burnout Baby!

If you couldnt tell im still figuring it out, This has been the most difficult event I have ever experienced.

This blog was heavy and not really a 'Feel good' Blog, but dont worry its not all depressing!

I have made huge improvements and experienced wonderful life changes over the last 3 weeks. So my next blog will be about my healing process with a promise of a positive outlook.

I hope you found useful insite in this weeks blog. To all my lovely readers who can relate, please see this as a sign to revaluate your life and ensure that you are taking care of your self. Burnout is serious and quite detromental.

Push past the guilt, Take care of yourself.

With love

Phoenix